So I was hanging out with some friends a few nights ago and they turned on a True Life episode entitled “I’m Addicted to Porn.” It followed a porn star who was frustrated with her career and two porn “addicts” who’s lives were being ruined because they just constantly watched porn instead of dating or going to job interviews. Now I know from people who’ve actually been on the show that most of it is a dramatization and sometimes heavily scripted but I also know from family members that a person can ruin relationships with porn. So I’m starting a discussion below. Do you think you’re addicted to porn? To you think people blame porn just because they have no self control? Leave some comments, I’ll post my take on it below.

Erick Janssen, PhD, a researcher at the Kinsey Institute, criticizes the use of the term addiction when talking about porn because he says it merely describes certain people’s behavior as being addiction-like, but treating them as addicts may not help them. Many people may diagnose themselves as porn addicts after reading popular books on the subject, he says. But mental health professionals have no standard criteria to diagnose porn addiction. (http://miniurl.org/0uR)

I honestly get really sick of people who feel like they’re addicted to things and need God or whatever to get themselves out of it. Yes, many cases can be severe and may be too much for one person to handle but I wouldn’t extend that out of things like drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, etc. which have heavy addictive properties. I have known people who’ve become physically addicted to prescription painkillers to the point where if they stopped cold turkey they could physically die. So I’m definitely saying that addictions don’t exist. What I AM saying though is that when a person blames the drug or the porn and doesn’t take an ounce of personal responsibility then I have no sympathy for them. You are the person choosing to drink, watch porn, etc. You may have been born with a more addictive personality but that doesn’t mean you don’t have control over your own actions.

I spoke to my aunt recently. She had divorced her husband when I was young and I found out recently that the split was on a certain level, due to his addiction to porn. She asked me when I defended my stance that porn isn’t a gateway to hell like she and my mom think if I thought it was OK that one partner would be taking care of the kids and making dinner while the other wouldn’t come help because he was downstairs watching porn. Of course that’s not OK, but the problem there isn’t the porn, its the man. You can’t blame porn for your failed relationship. Porn didn’t miss making dinner or taking care of your kids, your husband did. I’m sure my aunt absolutely hates my career choice because of her experience. I certainly wouldn’t do what I do if all it did was ruin relationships and people’s lives. I think it’s all just a matter of weakness. You can get over your addiction if you have the drive. It’s only the weak that end up blaming someone or something else for their lack of ability to control their actions.

No person needs porn to survive. If your partner or family or even your daily life is being hurt by you spending too much time jackin’ it then just stop. If you think you need rehab they actually have those for sexual addiction but seriously don’t blame the porn or the people who make it. I think porn can be a great outlet and even something you and your partner can share but if it becomes a problem you only have yourself to blame. Porn is not a drug, don’t treat it like one. That’s all I got, let me know what you think.